if you don’t think history is amusing then you’re wrong because one time 3 different guys declared themselves pope all at once and they all excommunicated each other and it was basically the funniest shit ever
what about that time the Lichtenstein army sent 80 men to Italy to fight and came back with 81
what about the time when a guy tried to assassinate the archduke, failed, and threw himself into a 2 inch deep river in a suicide attempt
Or that time a senator got really pissed off at another senator and beat the living shit out of him with a cane
or that time a short french guy tried to invade Russia
why is nobody talking about the Anglo-Zanzibar war
it lasted 38 minutes
or that time the whole town of gotham pretended to go catch contagious derangement to avoid having king john i build a royal highway through the centre of their village
and it totally worked
or that time a bunch of colonists dumped tea in a Boston port
and pretended it was Native Americans
or that time they tried to kill Rasputin and after poisoning him with enough cyanide to kill him several times over; beating him; shooting him four times; and then rolling his body up in a carpet and it in the river because they thought he was finally dead and in the end he ended up having drowned
For all my whovians out there thinking about cutting. Here’s something for you.
When you feel like cutting, it doesn’t mean everything in your life is wrong. It means there are good things there too, only you can’t remember them at the moment. Yes, just like the Silence. So do this: Keep a marker with you at all times. At any given point of your day, if something good happens, make a mark on your wrist. If you see a tumblr post that makes you cry tears of laughter, if you read an amazing book, if a friend you’ve been missing just called you, if your crush smiled at you, if your parents congratulated you, even if you feel alright for no reason: make a mark. And then, when the urge comes, and the need to cut is starting to consume you, look at your wrist. Look at all the marks you even forgot making.
There are good things. There are things worth living for. Not remembering them in that precise moment does not invalidate their existence. Look at them, smile, and ask yourself, how did I forget that?
I really hope this helps you. I hope it will help me too.
Have you ever thought “Man, I feel impossibly shitty and I don’t know why”?
Run through this checklist before you do anything else.
- What have I eaten in the last 24 hours? Is it enough? If not, go and eat some food, you butt.
- Am I hydrated? If not, put some fluids in your body, fool.
- Have I slept an acceptable amount in the last 24 hours and preceeding few days? If not, do your utmost to have a nap. You need a reset, bro.
- Have I been outside/partaken in whatever form of exercise I am capable of? You’re stagnating, homie.
- Have I communicated with anyone? At all? About anything? In the last 24 hours? Sup, you’re not actually a lone wolf, and even if you’re just shouting BUTTLUMPS at someone over the intertubes, it’s better than shouting it at yourself inside your own head.
So basically: eat, drink, sleep, walk, and talk. If you still feel like emotional ass after that, start looking for more involved explanations.
i am so guilty of this